Connect: Why the NHS Lists Relationships First Among the Five Steps to Wellbeing

Among the NHS’s five steps to mental wellbeing, "Connect with other people" is listed first, ahead of physical activity, learning, giving and mindfulness. That ordering is not accidental: relationships sit at the foundation of the NHS’s wider wellbeing framework, and the guidance behind it is specific about what "connecting" actually looks like day to day, rather than leaving it as a vague suggestion to see friends more often.

Why the NHS puts relationships first

The NHS’s own guidance explains the reasoning directly: good relationships can "help you to build a sense of belonging and self-worth," "give you an opportunity to share positive experiences," and "provide emotional support and allow you to support others." This last point matters because connection is framed as a two-way exchange, not just something to receive; supporting other people is treated as part of what makes the relationship good for wellbeing, not a separate, additional step.

What the NHS actually recommends doing

Rather than a general instruction to socialise more, the guidance sets out specific, low-effort actions. These include spending daily time with family, for example around a fixed dinner time; arranging outings with friends who have not been seen recently; replacing some screen time with face-to-face activities; having lunch with colleagues rather than eating alone at a desk; visiting a relative or friend who needs support; volunteering locally; and using video calls to stay in touch with people who live further away. The common thread is that most of these are small, repeatable habits rather than occasional big events, which makes them easier to build into an ordinary week.

The caution about relying on technology alone

The same NHS guidance includes an explicit caution: not to rely solely on technology or social media for relationships. This is a distinction worth sitting with, since messaging and social apps can create a feeling of staying in touch while providing a thinner version of the emotional support that face-to-face or voice contact tends to give. The guidance’s own suggestions, such as swapping some screen time for in-person activities, reflect this concern directly.

How Connect relates to the other four steps

The NHS’s five steps to mental wellbeing are Connect, Be Physically Active, Learn New Skills, Give to Others, and Pay Attention to the Present Moment (mindfulness). These are not meant to be followed in strict order or all at once; the guidance presents them as five separate, evidence-informed directions that each contribute something different, and Connect is simply the one the NHS chooses to introduce first among them, likely reflecting how foundational relationships are to most people’s day-to-day mood and resilience.

Building Connect into a busy week realistically

Because the guidance’s own suggestions are deliberately small, the practical starting point is rarely a dramatic change, such as joining a new club, but something closer to protecting an existing habit that has slipped, like a regular phone call or a shared meal. Treating connection as a small, repeated practice rather than an occasional large effort matches how the NHS itself frames the other four steps too, each of which is built from ordinary daily choices rather than one-off events.

Small habits add up over a working week

Because several of the NHS’s own examples, such as lunch with a colleague or a short phone call, take only a few minutes, building Connect into a week does not require setting aside large blocks of free time. The cumulative effect of several small, regular moments of contact is the model the guidance points toward, rather than a single planned social event standing in for the whole week’s worth of connection.

Frequently asked questions

Does "connecting" have to mean spending time with a large group of people? No; the NHS’s own examples, such as a fixed family dinner time or a phone call with one distant relative, are individual or small-group actions, not a requirement to be constantly social.

Is video calling considered a good substitute for in-person contact? The guidance lists video calls as a legitimate way to stay in touch with people who live further away, while still cautioning against relying on technology alone for all relationships.

What if I find it hard to connect with people right now? The NHS’s wider Every Mind Matters resources point toward talking to someone you trust or seeking further support if low mood is making it hard to connect with others; this step works alongside, not instead of, professional support where that is needed.

The bottom line

The NHS places connecting with other people first among its five steps to mental wellbeing because relationships help build a sense of belonging, provide emotional support, and let a person support others in return. Its practical suggestions are deliberately small and repeatable, from a fixed family dinner to a video call with someone far away, with a clear caution against letting technology stand in for face-to-face contact.

Sources

• NHS, "5 steps to mental wellbeing"